Stay still for a moment and feel the atmosphere around you. . . I know that is easier said than done, especially if you live in NYC (like myself) the city that literally never stands still. Although we can not change the chaos around us we do have control over what we allow to enter our mental space. This is something that takes practice and to be honest, I myself am still working on mastering this.
A week ago I took a trip to Yoga to the People, an affordable yoga studio all over NYC. I have done yoga before so I went in thinking: I got this. The instructor begins with the standard stretches and as I’m following along, mentally I am still raving about how great this session is going to be. After we warmed up he begins asking us to do a series of poses I have not seen before and I quickly became intimated.
Yoga to the People @ Upper West Side
I survey the room and can’t help but notice how gracefully everyone else was executing each pose. This made me anxious and insecure about my ability. The confidence I initially came in with bolted out the door and never looked back. Shit! My heart sank realizing I had signed up for something I did not anticipate. Working through my anxiety is something I made my mission so I started coaching myself through this moment. “Try your best, you are here for YOU not everyone else! So what if you look stupi—” STUPID? I LOOK STUPID? UGH! The internal conversations were not allowing me to focus on my balance consequently making it harder for me to keep up. This was the moment I realized that self sabotage was trying to take the wheel on this experience, I decided to hit the breaks so hard that it flew through the windshield (ouch.) Sorry but it had to go, it was stopping me from enjoying this experience simply because it was foreign. I changed my mindset to focus on simply learning about my physical ability. I began to just try my best despite the concern on how I looked and you guess what happened? Turns out, accompanied by a lot of sweat and body trembles, I can actually do these poses! We have examples of people like Jessamyn Stanley that do not resemble the “average” yogi but have an exceptional ability to push through limitations. This yoga session could of gone terrible if I would of allowed it to but I decided that this was about learning and trying something unfamiliar.
Afterwards, I was feeling inspired by my perseverance so I went to Central Park and found an area that wasn’t too loud and continued to challenge my comfort zones. I opened my yoga mat, meditated and practiced a few moves. Yes, people might have been staring at me wondering what in actual fuck does this girl think she’s doing but I had to force myself not to care. I say force because even though I just concurred through some mental barriers, self sabotage will always attempt to take the wheel.
Lets be real though not caring about others judgement of us is not an easy task. We have been taught from a very young age that we must keep up with the norms because if not you will face social humiliation. You must follow the trends and never deviate from what others might consider controversial or for lack of better terms, different. Everything that has been deemed as “different” has gone through hoops to earn their spot in society. From people of color to the LGBT community, both brought something different to the social standards and had to be vetted to gain respect, which is still battle. As a result, people who are not like everyone else and fight against the currents always come out a better, stronger and more resilient person. If you ask me, THATS worth fighting for. Don’t lose yourself in all the chaos and really ground yourself. Start by addressing the mental conversations and disposing of beliefs that no longer serve you and your growth. I have released a podcast from the Dose of Fresh Air series that provides you with tools to troubleshoot anxiety through writing. Make sure to check it out here or on iTunes!
I hope you walked away from this blog post with a little Vitamins for Breakfast.